Friendzone Part II, For Him. By Neph

Ok, so this is for the guys out there. If you don't have the signs I said in part I you are ok. Now let’s see if she actually likes you back and you haven’t seen her signs, or you can even test her on these.

   Does she initiate physical contact with you? As with everything, it all depends on the person, but it’s 99% true that if she likes you, she touches you (the 1% applies to extremely shy girls). This doesn’t mean that if she touches you she likes you for sure, because you know, you’re friends, and friends touch each other too, but it’s always a good sign because it shows intimacy and trust. Plus sometimes you can tell the difference between the friendly touch and the other one… If she often holds your hand, or touches you on your lower back, head or chest, you’re good. I’m not saying you definitely have her, but she sees something more in you. If she doesn’t, you can test her by initiating the touching yourself (easy on the touching, don’t grope her!). Guide her through the crowd, touch her a bit while talking, remove her hair from her face, etc... Now check her reaction. Your best one is if she pauses (means she is alert and aware of what you’re doing), looks at you (lets you know she’s about to respond to you) and smiles. Keep the physical contact and give her time to feel more at ease with you and you’ll have her.

     Is she trying to be more desirable to you? Let’s say you are in a group of friends. Check how she’s dressed, hair, makeup and everything; does it seem that she made effort in looking better than usual? Also listen at how she talks about herself and other women during your random conversations. She may be trying to show off a bit (to make her more appealing to you) on cooking skills or sex or she’s letting you know she’s got many admirers, she’s very smart, and devoted and sensitive etc etc…  She may be doing all that for another member of the group, so to test her you can try the jealousy test. First of all try looking at another woman from across the room. If she turns around to look at what you are looking, you’re good. If she immediately looks down, you’re good too, it means she’s frustrated and doesn’t want you to see. If that fails talk about another woman, someone (be careful here) that is interested in you and you’re thinking about it. Don’t say you like another woman cause if she does like you, you may lose her with that. Depending on her character if she likes you she’ll do one of these two things. She’ll either say something bad about her new competitor, or she’ll go silent. The first type is preparing to fight for you and jealousy works for her, the second type takes it as a sign you’re not interested and she’s evaluating whether she made a mistake in liking you (that’s the Doer vs. Thinker type).

Damn this post is getting bigger than I thought so I’ll speed it up a bit. Enough with the signs let’s see what you can do.

  People are programmed to respond to stimuli, that’s what makes us adapt to different environments, so, if you’ve only given her friendly signals so far chances are she sees you as a friend. Try to subtly (at first) change your behavior and flirt with her a bit. Women usually pick up body language very easily, so she’ll notice pretty soon. Also take care of yourself. Try to be more appealing to her. I’m not saying change who you are, definitely not, but try to be a person you would want to date. Pay more attention to what you eat, your style, your education, the way you portray yourself; be the best you can be, without losing yourself or trying to imitate anyone else. Give her a glance at how great it would be if she dated you, give her your attention, give her time and be patient, make her feel comfortable and secure, and finally make her feel unique (everything in moderation though, you don’t want to look like a door mat). I don’t know if guys realize this but for women it’s the number one thing they’re looking for and the number one thing that causes nagging, insecurity and the end in whatever romance you have (Note: that is why women like jerks, because they want to be the one that changes them). If you don’t take anything else from this post, get the uniqueness part.

Good luck!